t4t / @Salient_Crab

"We plead criminal insanity your honor"

"On the grounds that my client ordered Dominoes™️ Pizza 3 times in two days WITHOUT using a coupon."

Judge wearing orange robes and a laurel who hasn't spoken until now: (banging gavel) Pizza! Pizza!

Me, on the jury: (whispering) Did he just say electric chair?!

6 days ago To reply to this post, download the app for iOS or Android.