19, white, Aquarius, he/they, Gresham, Oregon, United States
fag, ftm, gnc, man, neuro, queer, ???
i've accumulated about $600 in the savings account, which means whenever my girl lets me know she's ready i can actually afford to fly her over here and spoil her during the visit!!! i'm so excited about this
this woman is so fucking kind and considerate and gorgeous she makes me want to be a dedicated househusband for the rest of my days
been off of T for about 2 months now, feeling pretty miserable about it. i just want to be a dad, and it hurts knowing i have to detransition for a long while to do it. this body is fucking miserable to be in
back on this app. probably a bad idea but i miss the drama on here LMFAOO
drinking tito's and yearning for a beautiful and slightly scary transfemme to use me
havent been able to feel happy without drinking or smoking until i'm sick, i know i'm gojng into a depressive episode again but at this point i think i'm ready to let it take me than try fighting back again. i have no reason to
about doing little acts of kindness making life a lot happier. yesterday i gifted a bunch of high quality crops to all the random people in my roblox garden and they were all so grateful and kind i'm smiling just thinking about it again today
it's tiring seeing people make jokes about how they're "acting so autistic" before turning around and shaming actually autistic people for the way they act. we need to normalize bullying non-autistics for trying to relate to us while actively marginilizing us
she understands and validates my trust issues with romance and goes out of her way to make me feel cared for and appreciated 😵💫😵💫 i dont want to be too forward but i think i adore this girl SHE'S SO SWEET AND CARING SHFJJEJD
me and this girl from missouri have been discussing her plan to move to the northwest and that conversation may or may not have evolved into moving to the northwest so we can meet and maybe kiss too :3 i can NOT wait for the day we don't have to do long distance
and the anxiety is slowly getting better again. i will NOT miss the constant panicked feeling and overthinking 24/7
it hurts a lot to cut her off, but i know this is for the best for both of us. i wished we could work out as friends so badly, but with her behavior and the way she reacted to me pointing it out makes me realize i'm worth a lot more than being a flirty late night drunk call.
express how i feel and set a boundary and it makes me feel so guilty i want to throw up (IHATETHISIHATETHISIHATETHIS I SHOULDNT HAVE SAID ANYTHING BUT ITS TOO LATE NOW)
be honest with me. calling me drunk to say "you miss me", then you pretend. you want to be close still, then you lie. you feel comfortable telling me you'll tell the truth about how you feel, then you dont. if you want me around, act like it, because i hate this dynamic.
I FLIRTED WITH A STRABGER FOR THE FIRST TIME AT A SHOW TONIGHT i almost didnt approach him because he was super straight passing but he fucking winked at me,,, god i wish i didnt forget to ask for his number, metalhead boys are so fucking cute
it's now officially been 3 full weeks without medication. wallgreens STILL doesn't have it like they daid they would be now 4 different times. the withdrawal symptoms have atarted getting a LOT worse and i just can't do anything until i can find a pharmacy that takes my insurance
how do you restart an important conversation with someone when they feel like the conversation is fully over but you didn't get the chance to say most of what you wanted to tell them so it's been in the back of your mind eating away at you for a month now??
finally i have successfully found a potential friend that might want to hang out irl!! i am so full of pure joy right now and i can't wait to build new connections with someone that reciprocates kindness and wants to find people to grow with :3
the second i get home after finding out my water bottle was stolen i have to deal with my brother trying to weaponize his disability against me. i wish i could stick up for myself on this without him guilt-tripping me into feeling like an ableist asshole for having my own needs
i leave my water bottle at the park overnight and some dumbfuck decides to steal it for some reason (unsanitary as fuck but okay). literally how hard is it for people to do the bare minimum of not being greedy and gross?
my period is coming up next week and it's making me super bloated and nauseous. it does stink feeling all sluggish but at least it's satisfying one of my weirder kinks unintentionally
decided to measure my bottom growth out of curiosity (inspired by ftm reddit) and this shit is already 2 centimeters (3cm hard), my gender euphoria right now is THROUGH THE ROOF
brother woke me up since he decided it was the perfect time to start cooking half a box of chicken nuggets (it's 4 in the morning) and i can't fall back asleep. i'm going to explode /neg
i love my brother to bits, but GOD does it feel like i have to help parent him sometimes. i should not have to hide the xbox batteries and argue with a 21 year old man to get him to go to bed because he has class tomorrow. i hate having to co-parent my older sibling atp
we as a community need to stop with all the absolutiest "all men suck" language. it literally offers nothing positive, it just lumps all masculine-aligned people into an "evil" box. our society's culture around men is the issue, not men themselves. i'm tired of keeping this in
the part of me that potentially wants to be a parent stems from wanting to create what i didn't get as a kid. kids are cool, but tbh the only things pulling me towards having my own are my own selfish reasons, and it wouldnt be fair to bring a life intot the world that way
i'm glad i at least get to do SOMETHING today, but fuck it would be nice if i could give my mom a hug :(( i've needed one from her really bad recently
i found this mug my mom bought me years ago that has one of my old chosen names on it, i know i don't go by that name anymore but it feels comforting using it this mother's day weekend. i miss her a lot, but i know she'll never truly leave me <3
i got a cute sanrio pill organizer, 2 eyeliners, a lighter, two teas and some snacks for only $15 :D i'm so happy with my purchases
even though i am stressed about my medications being messed up at the pharmacy, i'm very grateful to be at a point in my life were i can function and manage my feelings enough to handle this. 8 months ago this would've fucked up my entire week. i've come pretty damn far :))
i've had to supplement my daily anxiety meds for my as-needed panic meds to keep myself stable for the past week while the pharmacy figures out how to order a refill for my extremely common anti-anxiety pills. i wish incompetent companies didn't have to dictate my health this way
looking at r/growyourtdick and i'm starting to realize i'm lowkey packing some heat in tdick terms for only being 2 months on T.. girlie wasn't even visible before and now i dont even need to position it to see it :0
recently i've been putting affirmations into my daily routine to help build up my self worth. it feel corny as hell to look in the mirror and tell myself affirmations, but i think it's been honestly helping despite the cringe